People often hate, regret and despise change. They would say, “You’ve changed” as an accusation to a
friend. I do not understand this.
Change is a good thing, right? Otherwise it would mean we have stopped learning and growing. Isn’t it?
Is it change that causes pain or the lack of our understanding of the change?
I hope you or Piyush do not sue me for this. But, I have a theory. There is always this core and periphery of a person. I believe that the core never changes. So, if you value and love your friend for what his or her core is, you are likely to never complain about changes in your friend.
On the other hand, change in what somebody had understood as the core of the friend can be shocking and become the cause of pain.
will send you the details of the lawsuit
Actually I have an add-on theory to this. When we are very young, our core is under the process of development. At this time, the core may change. If a person spends time thinking about his value system and consciously developing it, the core becomes stronger and more defined. If the person blindly adopts values without really comprehending them, the core suffers. People in the latter category tend to be erratic.
Yes, most often this is true – “change in what somebody had understood as the core of the friend can be shocking and become the cause of pain”
I guess this is what sometimes happens. Sometimes we are dealing with people whose cores are still forming… sometimes with people who will be volatile because their cores are not well defined. Sometimes we do not understand the manifestations of the core.
For understanding a person and changes in him, I guess we need to understand the core of the person and the manifestations of the core.
Another thing that I would like to add here is that while you are experiencing change, keeping your friends in touch with it will help. Else, one day they wake up to the fact that you are not the person they were firends with. That can become a difficult situation.
sometimes you change so fast, that you can explain it only on hindsight. yes, communication is key… but often communication takes place after the change.
moreover, different people will perceive your change differently… even while you are explaining it to them. but that should not dissuade us from explaining… just dont be disillusioned if the results are not what you expected
Its quite simple buddy..
Everything changes and so do we, and as far as relations are concerned, if it were to be ‘True’ there will always be a good understanding quotient between 2 ppl no matter wat.
If it is not, You are not in a ‘ Relation ‘ and so u don’t have to bother ..
Thanks for your comment, Tanmi… a little harsh, but very true