When was the last time that you did something for someone without expecting anything in return? Yes, we all like to believe that we are compassionate beings who do their bit for people in need, regardless of whether they are friends, family or strangers.
Examples of Selfless Acts
I remember pulling my car up on the side of the road and rushing across the busy street to rescue a puppy who was trying to weave its way precariously between speeding cars. It wasn’t as though I expected the puppy to thank me or for the cars to stop and the drivers to step out and give me a standing ovation. I did it because I thought that the puppy would get run over if no one stopped to help it.
So, how did it make me feel? GREAT. Given that this incident happened some six or seven years ago and the fact that I still remember it vividly and narrate it at the slightest excuse should give you some idea about how good I felt about stopping to perform this selfless deed.
Define Selfless Good Deeds
But then was it really selfless? Are there any selfless good deeds? My answer is NO. When I help someone without expecting anything in return, I am talking only about my conscious thoughts. The fact that I helped without an ulterior motive makes me feel proud of myself. Helping others somehow makes me a more worthwhile person. And if the person I helped should turn around and refuse to recognize the next day, would I not feel hurt? Would I not say to myself – hey, after all I that for that jerk he doesn’t even have the courtesy to greet me on the street.
Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself. When was the last time you helped someone? How did it make you feel? I rest my case.
Being Selfish
A mother feeding her hungry offspring is proud to see her healthy child growing – even that basic maternal need to care for one’s young is not selfless, so how can we expect helping total strangers, doing social service in some form or even lending money to a friend in need to be divorced of feelings and expectations?
The only reason we help another person is because it increases our own sense of worth. Period. Human beings are inherently selfish. The sooner you admit it, the better off you will for it. And as the American musician Herbie Mann said, “Being selfish is not a bad thing.”
helping someone selflessly indeed makes oneself happy from within.
Great read! Cheers!
Well to sincerely admit, there is no occasion when I did something without expecting favorable returns. Sometimes the returns I expect are materialistic, for example helping my mom in Diwali preparations for a new clothes. However, some other times I expect spiritual returns for my ’so-called’ generous activities, such as stopping my bike to help another person in pushing a broken car to the roadside. So, in either of the way the selfish feeling of some favorable return is always there in my mind.. I dont know if this is called Hypocrisy…
I will say that you maybe right, however I disagree for now. I see the concept I think . But how can you speak in the “We” version. Your experience maybe that is why you do it. Not all people how narrow
I don’t know whether it is being selfish, narrow or materialistic but I have experienced that whenever I do something good, I feel good too. And if I feel good, how can I call it selfless? And if I felt really terrible about helping someone, I would rationalize the act to myself and again take away the “selfless” aspect. As human beings, is it possible to dissociate from the self?
No. You are the”self”. Disassociating oneself from one’s own self is a contradiction in terms. Try disassociating your self-worth from other’s perception of you. And the need for every other person’s sanction for your actions.
No doubt that we all human beings are selfish and that we cannot dissociate ’self’ from ‘ourself’ but the whole catch lies in whether we did the good deed for some ulterior motive or for self-gratification. Moreover the happiness & satisfaction which comes along with that good act of ours is more like a by-product and not a pre-planned outcome.
i don’t know ,
you are genuinely right in most of the cases , on some other day i would have totally agreed with you … but the current upheavel that z going on inside me i do have something else to say .. i may aswell be in need of some counselling ..for i know dat donating blood is a good thing .. but this day i donated blood not bcoz its a gud thing or i had my pals by my side n was enthusiastic but i was so down wid myself that i thought this blood is as if useless so let it go , i knew and i didn’t derive any contentment from the act i remained bogged down , then there’s this colg politics in which i m not at all interested and these guys who have been the prick in my life till last year ask favours , which i do obilige , knowing that accordin to them i am an idiot but i just care less and less , many other things i do being aware that for me they r useless or even harmful but i do them very few times only have i derived a surprise happiness , like giving sumthin to someone which bth of us badly need , and i know that i’ll feel bad about it , but i do
i think it has more to do with my psychology at the moment , now as i read what i have written i feel confused that is it actually selfless or is it actually helping or not
altruism is a rarity in nature , i once asked my teacher to give an example she didn’t have one .. but i think the example that u gave the one about saving a puppy , you’re being very modest .. it is actually heroic and i see no harm in feeling morally superior by the act.
No disrespect intended, and you certainly did a great thing to help this puppy, but didn’t you do it so you would feel happy? Or proud of yourself? Isn’t that a bit selfish?
I don’t know if I’m right but this is what I think and I hope that other people, with different opinions, can share them me.
xx Lumz
Hi Lumz,
Thanks for you comment. I completely agree with you – I did do it for totally selfish reasons. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I had not done something to help the puppy. I did it to feel good. That is why I believe that there are no selfless good deeds.