Imagine the plight of Ravana. Even with ten heads, he could not overrule what his heart desired. Head or heart? Heart or head? What should I follow? Although superficially many of us take a side, we struggle to find the answer.
Head v/s Heart
In the second year of college, I was interested more in street theatre than in the downfall of the Tudors. It was Christmas and the IIT-Bombay fest came knocking. One week of theatre, the excitement of an outstation trip and the last chance to be with one of my dearest seniors – my heart was totally for the fest. But, the head was quite clear that I would screw my midterms, which were just nine days away, if I went to Mumbai. It had never been like this – the heart wanting it so much and the head too firm about its stand.
The climax was quite funny. I asked my mother. She thought a lot and said, “Pass.” To whom? To God. Yes, I was asked to make two chits, keep them in the temple and let God help me make the right decision. 
My mother’s faith in the technique and no answer to the confusion made me do it her way. I picked up the “Don’t Go” chit.
If I face the same situation today, I will definitely not take the same route. I was not unhappy with decision, but the fact that it was not consciously taken by me.
Let your Heart loose, but don’t lose your Head
I believe that it is easy to use your head when giving an opinion to others. However, our heart has a greater say when we decide for ourselves. As opposed to going by your head, listening to the heart always gives pleasure in that moment. However, doing the same in a wrong situation can land one in trouble.
Heart + Head = Happiness
Why did God give us both? The heart takes risks. It knows when it is worth it to take chances. The head manages the risk. If we let one of them dominate, we end up being romantic or cynical. Listen to both. Feeling is necessary. It gives power to your actions, which strengthens the thoughts coming from the head. Give your head a say in matters of the heart. This gives you an advantage of using experience.
Do share your experiences with the head, the heart and how they confused you.
Good one, Ankit. I have spent a major part of my life trying to control my heart and use my head. Needless to say, it has always been a losing battle. What we are always taught is that it is the weak that wear their heart on their sleeve. Mastering one’s emotions, almost Mr. Spock-like, is a sign of higher abilities. How does one do that? How do I move above my feelings to act in the “right” way at all times?
I would probably go with head ‘and’ heart. The essential thing is where does the head end and where does the heart start. In moments of decision use your head to collect all information and process it into pros and cons. Pros and cos processed by the head can include how you would feel in either case too. In the example above the pros of going to the festival in Mumbai can also be processed by the head. In moments of conflict do your due diligence and conclude the pros and cons in great detail. Don’t complicate the decision with generic boxes like curricular activities versus co-curricular activities – see it for what it is. How much better would you score if you did not go for the fest? How much would that additional score help you through this academic year, in your graduation in general, in your post graduate studies and in the career that would run through your life? Think with your head about how good you would feel during this week if you were at the fest. If the head is not able to make decision with all that data then go to your heart. This process of going to your heart can be called getting your gut feel on it, leveraging your intuitive decision making capability or talking to god. Talking to god – avoid using chits which run on probability – go deep within yourself and talk to god and ask what you should do – you will get the answer.
Most of my important decisions did leave the mind in conflict about what was the right thing to do. Around fifteen years ago i started making the final decision in conflicted-mind situations using my heart and i can thank god for the fact that all of them have been good decisions.
Important thing in the above is that though i make my decisions by my heart but it never by passes the due diligence by my mind. Probably the time that you spend thinking gives inputs not just to your head but to your heart too. A lot of bad decisions (e.g. terrorists killing civilians during bomb blasts) are made by the heart where the mind has not done the due diligence prior to handing the decision over to the heart.
I like the ‘talking to God’ concept that you mentioned.
Yes, going deep within yourself can help find answers. This belief somehow corresponds the belief that God is there within us. Once we start talking to the self, talking to God happens simultaneously.
However, I have my own take on it. I disagree with the point “process of going to your heart can be called getting your gut feel on it.” I believe it is not the heart that is in action while we get that gut feeling, it is the head. The difference is that sometimes we consciously use head to collect all the information to understand situations. At other times, the mind is at work subconsciously and keeps sending signals in the form of gut feelings.
The head and heart that we talk about, don’t they seem like two different facets of the same ‘MIND’.
Head means reason and logic and Heart means emotion and feeling. All thoughts!!
That ways, Intuition is neither head nor heart, it is beyond. Coz its an inkling, indication of what is to come, or simply what is. Perception of reality.. not feelings, judgements and reasoning.
Neither conscious nor subconscious.Superconsciousness… Soul calling..
Well, I know something about instincts and intution and was about to write something about that… superconsciousness sounds quite heavy to me.. Still, I am eager to know about it.. Why don’t you write a post on it?
So, here I come…
I think the whole wide world is governed by brain. Although it might be righteous to use brain to make things fall into right place but it can cause bitterness and unrest as some side effect.
On the other hand,Heart can generate that sustainability,solidarity,sympathy and sweetness which is much needed to adopt such things.
Evidently, I’m mesmerized by thoughts,pondering and writings of each and every member in the home of belief. Keep up the flow….
Happy to be a part of it!
Happy to hear that
@ankit: I love the last para… very well thought out and very nicely put together.
@piyush: always a pleasure to read what you write… time to write your own post, isnt it?
@Shivi: Thank you for your encouraging words. Looking forward to your post.
As for me, I just let my heart decide what I want and then give my brain the task of coming up with all the right (and innovative) reasons for doing that!!!
That’s being dillogical
It’s all very well to be all emotional and yes it is a sign of strength to be able to accept one’s feelings. But I am coming from another plane – there are times when we do need to exercise some control over our emotions guiding our behaviour and our choices. For instance, I am really angry about something and anger is the predominant state I am in right now. Does that mean I snap at someone for asking me stupid question? Is that how I would behave on an average when anger is not the predominant emotion? I think accepting one’s emotions is extremely important but it is not the same as wearing one’s emotions on one’s sleeve. If I am in mourning for a loved one, should that mean lower productivity at work and a chance for my colleagues to say, “Poor thing, let her be, she has just lost someone dear to her.” I don’t think so. The way we choose to behave in a situation cannot be ruled by the predominant emotion at that moment in time. Our behaviour should be determined by what will be best in that situation.
This is of course the ideal state of being. I, for one, am very very far from mastering this ability, although I do try to follow this rule as far as possible. Many a times, my emotions do get the better of me and leave me feeling silly for having snapped at someone or not have done something I should have because I was feeling a particular way.
money—it answers all……
toss a coin…nt to knw which side u end up wid…its jst dat by d tym d coin is in air,both ur head n heart together wil b wishin fr one thng which u realy want to do…….
i guess its much simpler dan dat as wel….wen u knw wht to do–its ur heart..wen u r deciding–its head……………wen u arent sure wht to do–its head…wen u cnt decide–its heart…….so leave d thngs wid those which are made to handl those….jst toss urself..one side its confusd head,other side its a tensed heart’s tale…bt wen u r free,light in air…u have dem both ryt dr wid u…so dnt fall fr a side,jst let it free..let it go..let it be…
muaah
hmmm… it is funny how some of us got in to devising-a-formula mode.