Leela: “What’s that, Mamma?”
Me: “It’s a mixer lorry.”
Leela: “A mixer lorry???”
Me: “Yes”
Leela: “Why is it so big?”
◊ Now I’m wondering how to answer that. What will my three year old understand about lorries and construction. Her world was still revolving around paper boats and butterflies.
Leela: “Why is it going round and round and round?”
◊ I’m wondering where I should begin. I finally decide that a good place to begin is at the beginning. So, for the next hour I tell my daughter about houses and construction… about what the mixer lorry contains (cement, stones, sand and water)… why the carrier in the lorry was rotating continuously. Finally, I take a deep breath.
Me: “Do you understand?”
Leela is silent. Maybe that was too much for a three year old to grasp. I make a mental note of not starting at the beginning (unless it’s Do Re Me Fa…).
Two weeks later, we are on the road again. Leela, who is usually very silent during car rides, suddenly springs up and says in an excited tone, “Look, Mamma… a mixer lorry.” I am still just smiling at her excitement, when she explains to me all about what the mixer lorry contains, where it is headed and why it keeps rotating.
Children have immense power to grasp things. However, often we give them half the information in an oversimplified way, thinking that they would not understand. What I believe today is that we should take the time to give our kids as much information as possible. Whatever they are not able to grasp will just spill over. No issues. At least we haven’t curtailed their learning.
A very sweet post.
Once a theatre expert told us how parents, and Indian parents in particular, curb the growth of their kids by encouraging them to speak with a lisp touch. They even ask them questions like , “Aap kaa kal le o?” in place of “Aap kya kar rahe ho?” Babies are just like apes. They grasp it fast and will copy the same. So, it is for us to understand that we do not treat our kid as somebody who does not have the potential to absorb what we are trying to tell. Very nice Lila.
First let me start by saying that Ms. L is so bright only because she takes after me. But seriously, I do believe that if a child asks a question, the full truth should be told. I recently had the experience of an aunt passing away and my 5-year old asking me what death meant. I tried to explain everything to her – about aging, funerals, beliefs in death and life after death. I think she was worried for a bit because she knows her grandparents are old but she also felt reassured with the thought that they are all going back to the Creator and maybe we will all be united again soon.
I also think that children have an immense capacity to learn and accept. By filtering information we do them a disservice. I can’t agree with babies being like apes, Ankit. I think their power to grasp is much higher due to language skills and the ability to conceptualise in images and words. I have seen the children process information the way that they can understand it best.
On a lighter note, but again from experience, I know that children think they are saying things correctly even when they lisp. My niece used to call me “Wom Mami” and when anyone asked her where “Wom Mami” was, she would say, “Her name is WOM Mami not Wom Mai.” That’s when i realised that in her head, Tasha was saying Rom.
awesome post
Nice:)
To add, apart from what information we give them directly, kids grasp a lot of other things that we sometimes do almost unconsciously in their presence, including our habits, behaviour and the way we react in different situations. (All that snapping, irritated and angry words we utter, or our patience levels).
Being with kids everyday, I can clearly see the link between a child’s upbringing and his performance levels in school. Children whose parents take a keen interest in giving them exposure to different fields of their interest are much brighter and more receptive in class.
To add on the learning bit – While I volunteered to teach kids at the primary level, a few months with them, I can’t believe how much I have myself learned..
Their innocent smiles, enthusiasm, openness to new things, love for challenges, ability to forget and forgive easily (one moment one may hit the other and the next moment you will find them swinging arms n smiling), willingness to help kids younger than them, and the respect and love they give, is simply amazing
After all the intelligence and wisdom that we have acquired, the return to innocence is probably what we all really need!!
What a sweet post! I can identify with it as my son comes up with similar questions too. Unlike you, I find myself struggling to answer most of them.
Recently, Adi saw a trailer of Wanted! and it showed Salman Khan eating pasta. It was over in a flash. Last night, I asked him if he wanted toasted bread, roti or pasta to eat. He said Pasta and I was wondering why coz he never liked it before. So, I knelt down and asked, why Pasta? Why didn’t you choose roti or bread? He thinks carefully and said, “Salman Khan had Pasta in Wanted movie. I want to eat Pasta. ” I was amazed at how movies influence kids and how they pick up information from trailers so fast. I didn’t even notice the pasta bit to the trailer! Well, I gave him Pasta and he screwed up his face with the most terrible expression and said, “Amma, Salman ate this Pasta? Not good, amma, not good.” I am hoping he was referring to Salman Khan and not the Pasta I made:)
Thank you, Ankit, Romila, Kalyani, Kuntal and Swapna.
Swapna, I’m sure your son meant Salman Khan!