All of us make mistakes. That is one of the the best parts of life. Children learn to manage risks by making mistakes. However, parents remain worried. They do not show trust in children as they are afraid of children spoiling their lives. While one can understand the concern of parents, they also need to understand that they are not doing any good by not keeping faith in their children.
Learning from Making Mistakes
“Just leave me alone.” Before your child screams at you, take hold of the situation. As kids grow and make mistakes, they gain knowledge. They want to assert this by acting on it. Often, parents tell their children that they won’t be able to achieve anything by doing so. By expressing this, they make the mistake of stating that they have no confidence in them. This can be extremely harmful for both the growth of children and the relationship that parents share with them. The belief they have in themselves may become weaker than before. Moreover, they may even stop listening to everything you say.
Let Children Make Mistakes
Discuss what your children want to do and why they want to do it. Questioning them not only helps you assess the probability of mistakes that they make, but also find out the interest and purpose involved. Moreover, it can become the first step towards helping them achieve their goals. Therefore, listen to them, warn them to be cautious of potential threats and encourage them to go ahead, even if it means making mistakes. This is always a more positive way of upbringing than remaining a proxy driver of their lives.
Parents need to know that their children will become parents too. If children do not get the opportunity to become the verb of their lives today, they will possibly never be able to make the right choices for their kids in future. If parents let kids make mistakes today, they will not regret it.
Good One Ankit. Yes we need to let the go, but make sure of the boundary. When my father worries about my younger brother (who is a college student), I used to tell him “As long as it is not going to risk his life or do some permanent loses, let him experience and learn from it”.
Good thoughts dear
Thanks Mythili. In fact, I share the pressure your brother faced in the form of worries of parents about my future. While parents always wish for our betterment, being on the same page with the child, as far as aspirations are concerned, is very important.
very nice post (as usual), ankit. There were some parts that were the real wow factors of this post:
“All of us make mistakes. That is one of the the best parts of life. ”
“This is always a more positive way of upbringing than remaining a proxy driver of their lives.”
“If children do not get the opportunity to become the verb of their lives today, they will possibly never be able to make the right choices for their kids in future.”
Parents do need to let go. But should there by no lines drawn? What if you later regret not stopping your child from having done something? I guess parents tend to take too much responsibility of the well being of their children…
Yes, there is a need to draw lines. I guess when parents discuss what the child really wants to do, they can together do a goal-setting exercise. Parents can keep monitoring the progress.
“monitoring” does not sound like a great word… But yes, I see your point. I guess as a parent one just needs to create an environment that nurtures trust. You trust them to do the best and they trust you enough to talk to you when they falter.
Hey Ankit, Awesome post. I agree with Priya. The portions she highlighted were the best portions in your well written article.
The post is indeed a pleasure to read. But i think the title is contradictory to normal behavior of both kids and parents. Parents can encourage their kids to take an initiative but not to make a mistake and kids will make mistakes automatically. They dont need encouragement. Other sub heads are more appropriate and make more sense. wat say????
Mayank, I understand what you mean. However, I feel the title is apt because:
1. This crucial part of parenting shapes a child’s growth significantly. The title conveys the message strongly to the parents who do not let their child explore and experiment.
2. Children, if not encouraged, can remain unsure about their will to do things. Encouragement communicates that making mistakes is okay. Moreover, encouragement is one of the most constructive forms of love a parent can express.
Does that make sense?
I agree with ur reply. But the title has a negative connotation – make mistakes – and not a positive attribute – encourage experimentation.
Exactly, Mayank. The problem is that some people perceive mistakes as negative. My purpose to classify the title as “encouraging mistakes” was to make such people think about it. Anything that has a positive influence on your life in the long run can not be negative just because it is viewed as doing things wrong at this moment.
Ankit! now u r generalizing the word ‘Mistake’ beyond the scope of this article. In language every word has an inherent feel attached to it. Mistake has a negative connotation and dats true. A mistake can be anything and only a few of them can be deemed as having a positive influence. and at times a mistake can b d last mistake of ur life.. Like touching a naked wire is a mistake. if child is encouraged to do dis mistake, it can b d dead end…
Ankit,
Great article,at times I make the very mistake of not letting my kids do small mistakes too.Now I think I have to ignore like many other things which I do until its really not harming them in any way.
Thanks for sharing.