My brother got married last weekend. During the wedding ceremonies, there was one belief that came up again and again – the bride and groom complete each other. Does it sound interesting to you too? So, is marriage one of those human inventions that support their struggle for completion?
This makes me ponder over the concept of a complete being. How would life have been if people were complete in themselves? One thing is certain. There would have been lesser interaction. Imagine the same person tilling the land, sowing cotton seeds, irrigating the field, harvesting the crop, making yarn out of it, stitching it into a T-shirt. He would wear the same and style his hair to rock the stage with the songs of his latest album at a concert which will have no visitors. Is that too much?
If completeness eliminates the possibility of exchange, is it worth striving for? Exchange of ideas constitutes a significant part of our lives. Be it out of need or for the sheer joy of it, giving, taking and sharing are acts that are so essential to our existence. In fact, exchange preserves the existence of cultures. There would have been no civilization if every human being was complete in himself or herself.
If I come back from the aftermath of completeness to the struggle, striving towards a complete being is actually the condition in which cultures thrive at an optimum level. Isn’t that strange?
What a beautiful gift for Veda on her 7th birthday
My thoughts about the post:
1. Very well written and thought provoking (as usual).
2. You mention – How would life have been if people were complete in themselves? – People are probably already complete in themselves. Most of us (including me!) dont recognize that or are yet to internalize it. We are all tillers of land, sowers of cotton seeds, harvesters of crops and makers of yarn. Just because someone else does that while we make the T-shirts does not make us incomplete.
3. You mention – If completeness eliminates the possibility of exchange, is it worth striving for? – Completeness and exchange are not mutually exclusive. Just because you are “complete” does not mean you dont need anyone to love you or anyone to care for you or anyone to tell you they miss you. It also does not mean that you dont love or dont need others. “Completeness” probably means that you can interact and exchange in a more complete way.
4. Maybe I did not understand your post, because I think you taught me a lot about “completeness.” Maybe here you are talking more on the material or physical level, while I am looking at it more from the spiritual or soul level.
5. I did not understand this part of the post – “If I come back from the aftermath of completeness to the struggle, striving towards a complete being is actually the condition in which cultures thrive at an optimum level.”
Interactions are all about energy exchange. When I use my hard earned money to buy a pair of jeans, I exchange energy with those several people who stitched, harvested and sowed to make the jeans possible. When I talk about Buddha to a friend, there is an exchange of energy in the form of thoughts. When I argue about why “commercialism” is not a bad word, there is an exchange of energy in the form of emotions and ideas. So, maybe its about the exchange of energy that is all part of one complete reservoir of energy, which we call the universe. Every individual drop of water is complete… and they come together to complete the ocean.
Now that my comment is longer than the post, I should stop
. In all, it was lovely seeing you on HOB again… do keep writing 
@ Lila: I see your point. What I meant was that interaction will reduce as a result of decline in the need for it. However, I really liked your thought, “Just because you are “complete” does not mean you dont need anyone to love you or anyone to care for you or anyone to tell you they miss you.”
Even my idea of the concept of ‘completeness’ is a bit contradictory…but overall the way you have put your thoughts its really amazing and I can see that you’ve really improved as a writer…
For the bride and the groom, I agree with the rest of the world that both were a complete couple coz people like us can only judge them on the basis of their physical appearance and how they interact, especially with us ‘the unknown guests to them’….
To be honest, I hardly feel a ‘wow’ factor in the posts that you’ve written on HOB. Of course, I’m no language or review expert to say this but I think I’m a very fussy, passionate reader. Your post definitely has a ‘Wow’ factor to it that made me read it several times with interest and curiosity.
My thoughts on the points you have mentioned:
1. I think being complete in oneself does not stop the exchange of ideas. I agree with Lila’s points 2 and 3.
2. The bride and groom complete each other is interesting as a concept but I don’t connect to it because I don’t feel I am incomplete on my own. Maybe it is that I am very independent about every decision in my life. That doesn’t stop me from believing and feeling strongly for the most important person in my life – my husband – because he adds the most invaluable dimensions to help me grow better as a person and bring that into my life in totality.
My belief is that marriage is not to be seen as the remedy for one’s struggle for completion. In South India, girls are married off by 20 – 22 years because their life is considered incomplete without the ‘married’ label. I am totally against that perspective though I know the question you raised is at a much deeper yet subtle level.
However, I believe the only relationship in this world that culminates in harmonious completion and perfection at the emotional, physical and metaphysical level begins and ends with the name and form of God you believe in. It can be Krishna, Jesus, Allah or just the Self. I may be wrong but that’s my spiritual compass and it works for my growth as a person.
Having said this, I think this is one of the best posts I’ve enjoyed reading on HOB several times over. You’ve written a great post, the way you have added layers of meaning to the concept of completeness. I liked the depth of your thought and the simple way you expressed it. Wish to see more posts like this from you!
The comment is definitely thought provoking. I have more questions coming to my mind now. Can a distinct identity be synonymous to completeness? And the perspective of meeting with self to become complete makes a lot of sense.
Thanks for the appreciation.
Interesting question.
A suggestion – why don’t you write a second part to this post ?
It would be an interesting and engaging way to bring those questions on this forum and discuss your perspective about it too. Looking forward to reading more on this concept and your take on it!
Yes, that’s a good idea. Let me do it very soon. Thanks for the suggestion