Over the years, I have always questioned these outdated Mallu beliefs that haunt the minds of a majority of Malayalis across the world. Having grown up in Kerala, I have witnessed how these beliefs have manifested wrongly. This moves me to write this post. Funny enough, in North India, there is so much respect for Kerala and the simplicity the place represents despite its enviable rate of literacy. I thought to myself: are we really that enviable?
Outdated Mallu Beliefs
The beliefs that have been stumbling blocks for many Malayalis remain unspoken. What I am listing here is just a tip of the iceberg. At least, every war needs a beginning so let me start it.
- The only decent career options are to become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, or teacher. Everything else is trash.
- Not a fair child? Something is very fishy, even if the parents maybe dark!
- Popular Hindu protagonists in Malayalam cinema are either Varmas or Namboodiris (royal family/Brahmin priest caste) or Menons (feudal family caste that enjoyed proximity to the Varmas and Namboodiris) but they are orphans too!
- Mimicry and comedy is one and the same thing.
Outdated Mallu Beliefs: Mallu Men
- Getting drunk is so macho but it is only for men!
- Vicco Turmeric cream is mainly for men than women.
- Molesting or misbehaving with women inside a bus is perfectly respectable. Planes and boats are included too.
- Men with moustaches are more macho than the rest.
- Men disapprove of girls who visit beauty parlors and of course, none of those girls include their girl friends, wives or sisters. These guys are lucky to find all the ‘natural’ beauties!
- Men in the family should be served first, wives and sisters and daughters must wait till it’s time to clear up, as family etiquette depends on this tradition.
Mallu Girl: Outdated Mallu Beliefs
- Malayali girls who wear jeans? No, no, they just want to attract men. My question is, so what about men who wear jeans?
- A Mallu girl, who wears a ‘bindi,’ looks down at her feet with humility when men are around, and dresses traditionally is a ‘good’ girl.
- Malayali actresses should not expose and they should look ‘naadan.’
Mallu Wedding/Marriage: Outdated Mallu Beliefs
- If you are a girl and attending a mallu wedding/ engagement/temple
ceremony/prayer/house warming, deck up in all your gold jewelry so that a prospective mother-in-law from a good family can spot the potential. - Don’t marry a girl who sings before the public, something is fishy about her character.
- Don’t marry into a family that has inter-caste marriage because your children or grandchildren may be motivated to do the same.
- Marrying a guy from the Gulf is like winning a lottery ticket.
- Don’t marry talkative girls because they are sure to talk back to the in-laws.
- Don’t marry girls who are nurses, lawyers, air hostesses, or models because they are too much in contact with men who are not related to them.
- Don’t marry without checking the ancestry and lineage of both families because a black sheep in the family (like me, for example!) could pollute the genes of several generations.
- Don’t marry girls who are motherless because who will look after them when they are in the family way?
- Girls who wear make-up, sleeveless clothes and short skirts are not ok to marry though you should go ahead and date them to ‘check’ it out.
- Girls with short hair are not girls, so don’t marry them!
Now, you know why the Onida ad makes sense: Neighbor’s envy 
Absolute truth.. and yes mallu rules are there too..
1. The girl in college is always the second tier citizen. Anyone with spunk has “one extra ellu”
2. Any girl who talks about freedom is a ‘vedi’
3. Everything one does always has to be filtered by “what will ppl say”
4. Mammooty and mohanlal are the worlds greatest actors..
.. endless
You know, these are the times I thank my stars for the accident of my birth to a non-conformist couple.. Was never fed this shit, and.. was taught why I shud not either..
This post reminded me why going back to kerala is completely out of question as far as I am concerned.. My life is not about what “the neighbors think” ..
Good one..
Gem!
Couldn’t agree more. Very well scripted
So funny.
Haha…dont put ur hands on ur head!
Hilarious! But what you have said is correct! People do think like this
A good tongue-in-cheek insight into the world of mallus!!!
Not to forget Mallu workforce ruling the Gulf economy and the entire healthcare sector.
Well I have worked in the Gulf for about 10 years now. I was fortunate I was in the executive category. But most mallus workforce, rule a job category where they work like slaves earning barely Rs. 1500 per month. Have you heard the term Malabari? That’s what mallus are called in the gulf. Because most of the labourer workforce who have their mother-tongue as malayalam is the ruling group with millions of mallus. Mallus doing normal jobs are so insignificant compared to them. So any mallu is nick-named or rather as a derrogatory name called Malabari. Malabari’s are considered doing menial jobs. I know even graduates sell their livelihoods in Kerala to go do this or agree to do the least paid jobs and spoil it for everyone to make the market so cut-throat that other nationalities hate mallus…(also North Indians) …not so much Indians. So let’s research before we blow the trumpet!
Thanks so much for the cheer, enthusiasm and awesome feedback. Now you can be sure that I will write more on Outdated Mallu Beliefs and feel free to help me add more to the list:)
Hey amazing post. Many were an eye opener .. Also the amount of gold you display is directly proportional to ur status .. I have been at loggerheads at people for refusing to wear jewellery ..
hahaha loved this. These things u mentioned are so true.
I was born and brought up outside, I remember how I often my parents had applied these beliefs (and still do, after living outside kerala more than 30 years) and how often me got into arguments with them asking about the logics in those mallu rules.
these are some I learned from my parents /family in kerala:
#cant go outside without wearing at least a small gold necklace, people will think u r a begger (no matter whether u r male/female)
#being a “Persia-Karan” is a good profession
(once a asked an aunt in Kerala, what a Persia-Karan does, coz seemed to be a very
good job, guess what ? she didnt know)
#drinks are only for boys, and one has to drink until one is drunk
(stopping before one is drunk doesnt really count drinking and being drunk is a
achievement to be proud of) and yes drinking even before noon is ok
(also during the week)
# you dont talk back to elders. being old is like being god. elder people dont need to say thank you or sorry or please. And of cousre u never point out to them, when they r in wrong, coz they dont make mistakes. The reason why ? because they are old !
#having a slim/normal figure means something is wrong with your health
@Deepti: Loved reading your thoughts. The gold bit is totally true. I absolutely agree with you. Thanks a ton for the encouragement.
@blr_voicetwitter: Smiled and loved every point you raised…esp the “persiakaran” and “drink till drunk” and “being old is like being god.” Loved the slim bit too but thanking God no body will suspect me of bad health:) Stay tuned as I will be writing more on us – “Mallus.”
Swapna,
Its more of Outdated Indian Beliefs than Mallu beliefs. I doubt that the rest of this country is full of Leibniz and Kants. Again, when you say “in North India, there is so much respect for Kerala,” is it respect for the place or people? If it is the latter, your father must be the Chief Secretary of this country living one of those colonial bungalows in Lutyens Delhi. Anyway it is good to know that at last i found a mallu in Delhi “thinking” about Kerala.
Maheswaran Gnanaprakasam
I dare you ..wear your lipstick and walk through some small town in kerala…you will be dead by the nearest corner.
this applies not only malllu but to entire indian society . Wherever you go, you can feel this. Though traditional things are changing and evolving every day for good to the indian society .
Hey Mahesh, thanks for sharing your thoughts. My experience has been that people in North India have always shown respect for Kerala and people from Kerala. It has nothing to do with family ties as such.
@jms: You are absolutely right. I have lived in Kerala and I can confirm this for a fact that if you are a Malayali girl and you go out wearing lipstick and stuff, you are looked down like an immoral person because typically, Malayali girls from respectable families are perceived by the society to dress and behave in a particular way and they are not expected to wear make up or dress ‘improperly.’ I do not agree with it at all but it is the truth even today in Kerala whether we accept it or not.
@naveen: Thanks for pitching in with your thoughts but I disagree with you. This is because I have traveled by myself in many parts of India and I have not experienced such social pressures anywherelse but in Kerala. When I travel in Delhi, Noida, Mumbai, Bangalore or Andhra, I can be who I want to be and dress the way I like. Be it relatives, friends or colleagues, no one is judgmental based on whether u wear lipstick or jeans or sleeveless tops but in Kerala, it is not done unless you want to be labeled as a girl of questionable reputation. This, I think, is very sad because we are supposed to be reflecting the education standards that we are known for but clearly the society in Kerala that comprises of literati and well-informed people do not approve of any change or norms where their girls are concerned. This kind of cultural hypocrisy is responsible for the growing number of sexual trafficking incidents and violent kidnappings of young school and college girls in Kerala, most of which are traced back to their own network of male friends or even relatives who try to exploit them. The vicious circle continues because the society in Kerala is so conservative.
well…well…well….it is quite depressing to know that a malayali has written such a stuff…n more depressing is the fact that the person has not made an observation that all these beliefs are NOT just with the malayalis, but with the whole of India…check that out among the north Indians as well….
I’m not saying this just because im a malayali too, but with a third-eye-point-of-view(having been born and brought up in Delhi)…
a girl, who wears a ‘bindi,’ looks down at her feet with humility when men are around, and dresses traditionally is a ‘good’ girl. …this is considered so anywhere in India…—ask any of ur north Indian parents’s friends…when they go out looking for a suitable bride for their son, they’ll look into the same things….ya, a girl’s parents wud also ask her to dress up in a sari/suit n wear a “bindi”…dress up “traditionally, in short, when going to see a prospective groom….
A moustached man is considered macho even in places like Haryana…
So, finally, i’d only like to say that “mallus” are not so out dated in their thoughts….in fact, the are very far-sighted, n rational in their thoughts…much better than others…
Please give this a thought, n do the same for further such posts that u are planning of…!!
I like this response
@lakshmi – well said .when compared to out dated beliefs of other states ,mallus are far better.My non malayali friends always used to tell me this….
Hey Lakshmy,
I just saw your comments now, so I want to respond to it. The purpose of this post is to bring some light humor and not to mock Malayalis. Trust me, there is no North Indian-South Indian divide or rivalry hidden in this post. There is no “north Indians” and “south indians” in my mind. We are one people, molded by different influences due to specific regions or places we came from, just like different waves that make up the ocean. All we want to do on this forum is to talk about our beliefs openly and I am so glad that you shared your thoughts so freely too. Thanks and hope you visit again, soon.
Well…I think im in trouble……he he…coz I am a mallu girl with short hair(really!!!) and i hate gold….i think i will be the least attracted one in the marriage market….
Best wishes to you in Mallu land:)
Wonderful masages i like it,,,! thanks to alllllll
Thanks!
Thanx swapna
Here I have seen an issue of lipstick, it is true in Kerala most of the girls do not wear lipstick there. I have been here in Delhi for the last 22 years. No mallu would wear a mundu here and take a bus as he is looked down and people will make a mockery of him not publicly but as if an alien has arrived in a Bus. Once one of my friend who is a North Indian told me that you know in Kerala most of the girls adorn their hair with Jasmine flowers and I told him that was true and he told me you know we consider the girls who adorns jasmine on hair as “VEDI” and I told him the same thing happens there in Kerala when one girl wears a lipstick and most of the women and girls here in the North wears lipstick.
Yes, interesting point you’ve mentioned there. I’ve heard this too.
It would be great to say that a girl before marriage in Kerala is almost brought up as equally as a boy she’s given d right education and is independent and then after marriage even if she has a decent job is expected to do all d household duties,look after her in laws who most of the time will be complainers and critics of d way she cooks,or brings up her children or treats their son.trust me in Kerala u wouldn’t want to live with ur in laws cos u will be a second class citizen in the house.if ur staying alone with husband and children that’s better.
hi smitha ur correct dear
Absolutely corrrect. I agree with you 100% on this.
This hypocisy is there, all over India. Girls who wear make up or short dresses are considered lkoose and fast and not marriage material. It is OK to eve tease and make life miserable for such girls at bus stops etc, but when it comes to getting married, everone wants a shy and “naadan” type, who does not wear make up, but brings lots of gold, and preferably can cook and clean!
Hi,
I think its more apparent in Kerala. I’ve not seen this gold madness in anyplace as much as it is in Kerala…..same goes for how ‘good girls should be’ – i’ve yet to meet a Mallu guy who doesn’t think that way when it comes to his marriage…no offence meant. However, there may be many good exceptions to this that I of course have no personal knowledge of. Mostly, I think we, Mallus, jump to conclusions too fast because we consider ourselves to be moral custodians of culture and propriety and that is a sign of awareness and is a strength that should remain a strength, but when we practise it, we unknowingly demolish its strength quotient.
hey swapna do u have any idea about the dowry which is demanded in AP,TN and most of the north indian states….I feel its same everywhere or may be more worser outside kerala…though well said
The only decent career options are to become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, or teacher. Everything else is trash.
Now in the US among Malayalis: Pharmacist
doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, or teacher
But then again, these are all respected professions in all parts of the world.
Thankfully, Raj, young Mallus are defying these ridiculous definitions and am so glad to hear that. I am proud of it too. We are changing in a good way without a rebellion of sorts and that is a good sign of opening up.
hehe…funny to see a mallu lady writing all these stuff…I agree that some..and i say just some of these comments can be termed as ” yea..people with such shameful attitude is among us ”
the drinking habit…the female molesting men….the love for GOLD in marriage….all these are examples..!!
BUT there are few parts that we need to understand..such so called ” out dated beliefs ” make “God’s Own Country ” and its people different from others…im not going saying all of the points are dumb..but certainly a few are too much of it.. some of the points the lady pointed out seems jst made up for laugh comedies..and hey..being “naadan” brings out the essence of a culture…and nothing bad.. some are very Indian beliefs and not just a Mallu one! the one’s that state about jeans, mustache of men, bindi, etc are examples…
“mimicry and the comedy are the same thing!! are you kidding? “malayalees are very much aware of what is mimicry and what is comedy. so how can it be a belief among malayalees.
” Not a fair child? Something is very fishy, even if the parents maybe dark! ” what is it that you want to convey through such a comment? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUCH BELIEF among Malayalees..!!!
then on the comments on marriages…well well..its a pity that such thoughts are spread across the web about malayalees…seriously..IF such thoughts exist, then that may be in a very very poor minority of people…!!!
the singing girl, the short hair, the motherless girl, …i think the writer is from such a narrow minded family…or at least has seen only one side of the coin…!!
from her comment ( polluted gene etc..) its sure that she is such a “black sheep” lol.
writing this comment i meant no offense to the author..its just the emotional response from a mallu who was born in this beautiful land..brought up here…and is living here among your so called “out dated beliefs ”
my plea to the writer is better not to put “kari” on the face of this beautiful place and the culture it has by further adding such contents
Dear M,
The emotional response makes interesting reading and further proves my points 100% about how we Mallus really are, the tone of your words say it all. I rest my case. In case you have problems with ‘kari’, read Shashi Tharoor’s book titled India. It gives the real picture. And of course, we can always find fault with that too coz we are Mallus:) God bless. Don’t worry about ‘kari’, its all in the mind and the perceptions:)
I am afraid to go to kerela, because , I am also a black sheep for the “out dated beliefs” (married a “madama” (the malayalam translation).
And whatever written at the top of the page is 90% true.
And the best thing is we consider India is our country and kerala a part of it, but all most all other states are considering themselves as a country and India is a state.
Ha, dear Mallu007, you are a life savior…those who know me well, also know I am a die hard Mallu at heart….and will always be…whether we marry outside or not…take care!
Whatever the author has written is absolutely correct. The most ridiculous culture in Kerala is greediness for gold..no matter whether the gal is smart, educated and sincere. Its high time to respond to this tradition. The parents who cover their daughter with gold is actually destroying other poor gals lives in the society.
I saw somebody commenting its among minority of people..definitely NO! Even the guys dont know the sanctity of marriage..For them its a deal.
Its true that wearing jeans in kerala is a crime . I had a friend brought up in north india and came for doing her bachelors in kerala..the poor gal was very decent compared with other mallu gals over der. But since she wore modern dress..the guys used to tease her like anything. So i dont agree telling that what the author has come up is coz she is from narrow minded people….The comment again shows our narrow mindedness..ie not accepting the facts!!
Hey Swapna..one more thing is der..” Paradooshanam” ..dats also smth to be erased from our society.
I really suffered a lot due to the beliefs in kerala n wen i came to US for higher studies..i paid for it….
Great article! I confess to being ashamed of my mallu parentage because of the way these people from Kerala behave. I escaped all this because I grew up in Pune.
Hi Swapna
What u have written is TOTALLY correct. I am a Malayalee, n my parents say the best thing that has happened to them in Life is that we kids were born n brought up outside Kerala. Thankfully my grandparents are also well-educated and broad-minded, yet there are times when they themselves feel ashamed esp when there are men on the roads staring, eve-teasing or passing lewd comments at me and even mum…..(n all this when we are wearing normal salwar-kameez)….I fail to understand why, even with a higher female ration, most Malayalee men have to act so sexually-frustrated.
I also agree with the ‘Decent Gal’ image everyone wants to cultivate. If a gal keeps her hair loose, it is ‘not proper’, if a gal has not oiled her hair, it is ‘not proper’, if a gal wears lipstick n jeans, its ‘not proper’.
N yes the Gulf Craze, it doesnt matter whether ur husband is cleaning gutters in the Middle east, but u must get married to a Gulf-karan…
I cant comment on the drinking, coz, mercifully the men in my family neither smoke nor drink…,,
N before u comment on me, I’m saying this out of experience of not only mine, but also my friends. I recently took some 7 female friends of mine, to my house in Kerala. Sad to say, we had a horrible time in the local places. When one of my friends asked – What the hell is wring with the men here? Even school boys are commenting so obscenely….’ – I hung my head in shame.
And last thing, while 10 years old kids are researching the internet to make projects for their schoolwork, under parental guidance, most parents in Kerala dont even have a computer at home. No wonder many kids from Kerala lag behind in adjusting when they study out of their state.
What a misfortune that one of the most beautifula places in the world is home to such narrow-minded people. No wonder Kerala still lags behind in everything.
I know some Malayalee women who do not wear nail polish, shampoo their hair, wear a single pleat saree only because they are scared of what the others will talk about…..They have lost their individuality and confidence. What is the harm if u indulge in these 3 things???
‘What will the people say’ – is a question that is imprinted in the mind of most Malayalee women, stopping them from leading a humane life.
I do have a lot of very good Malayalee friends but few of them still stick to these beliefs and realize only too late that being broad-minded does not mean wearing a mini-skirt n lipstick…it only means to rise from the crab mentality and be proud of being a woman.
This is such ABSOLUTE rubbish. There are no such beliefs in Kerala as a whole. Stray incidents are no reason to stereotype an entire state. This article reads to be very poorly reserached and bigoted. It equals to stereotyping of all muslims to be terrorists, all americans to be stupid and all blondes to be dumb. It is equal to terming every south indian to be a “madrasi”. Do check your facts before publishing woman. Don’t piss off people who have actually lived in the state or even have remote knowledge of how things function here. Eve teasing and being molested are not home to kerala alone, it rings true throughout india. What about delhi? 400 registered cases of rape in 2010 alone. Explain that. Tongue-in-cheek? I don’t think so. This is just sick misrepresentation. “A fair child to dark parents?” is a belief in kerala? Are you even educated? dumb shit. Please keep your rubbish opinions to yourself and don’t exhibit your utter ignorance about the country unless you have hardcore facts. Get a life instead of creating such a divisive, prejudiced, narrow minded piece of work. “Outdated mallu beliefs” my ass.
Wow…. That is a very rational answer.
From all I can see, the author of the article is absolutely correct. I am not even sure they are outdated believes. Many I have talked show that they still believe in many of them. It is better to do an introspection than jumping over the author with no substantiating evidence.
Swapna,
Your contribution is highly untrue and prejudiced. A few stray incidents do happen in any place, be it may. But generalizing it is not really right. You need to do your research before writing an article.
Oh no.. I have been to many places in the world, Kerala is one place where there is a general narrow minded culture. It is changing and will change with the presence of TV. At least in the past and maybe even now, they consider themselves as the purest, the most worthy culture, and all other cultures are inferior.
lolzz… hilarious post
Hi all, I had been reading thru the threads and am feeling so afraid on how I am going to accustom myself in kerala. I am an Asian girl who has been seeing a mallu man for the past 2 years. I am Born and brought up in a city, I have absolutely no idea why these belief still exists. My partner and I are still staying in Singapore (thanks god).. But ultimately we will have to shift back to kerala once we are married. I am feeling so worried how I am going to adjust to the culture, no jeans, make up. And he too, has been telling me that he is unsure how I am going to adjust to the culture there. His mum is coming for visiting next week and will stay for a month.. I am feeling so scared and panicky now. Is there any tipster that you guys can contribute in order to make my life for the next one month troublefree?
Ms. Trouble is here,
). So you can come here and live freely.
Don’t worry, This post is intended to be a humour. In humour, you can get exaggeration and generalization, though there’s some truth in it. A Malayalee’s attitude towards their own woman and a foreign woman is different (Again, double standards
I won’t be surprised to find that all those who are protesting against your posts are mallu men. I don’t completely blame them either. They don’t have to hear the lewd comments or be molested in public places. The Kerala that men “know” is almost exactly different for women.
I’m glad that my parents grew up outside Kerala and so did I. I still hate going there even for a day or two though I do force myself to go once in few years for my father’s parents.
There are thousands of things that make Kerala one of the worst places to live in especially if one has not lived there all their life.
I’m glad that my parents understand why I will never marry someone born and brought up in Kerala or settled in Kerala.
I am very fair, even by north Indian standards, and the way men stare just because of the color of the skin and the fact that I’m a woman is apalling! Women relatives have often showed preference for me over my sister just because she’s one shade darker than me.
I am a malayalee and I am proud to be one, even while i agree to many points mentioned. But just like SM12 mentioned, certain things are very far from the truth. One of the greatest crimes in India is female foeticide. To be one of the few states with female strong sex ratio shows how open minded the people here are COMPARED to others. narrow beliefs are there, but that is an all india phenomenon.
And about gold. I hate it completely. I have begged my fiance and her parents not to make here wear soo much gold!!!
But one good side of this belief is that gold turns out to be a good investment
Mumbai is the best place i have ever lived. I think it is also one of the safest (not in terms of terrorism). But one should understant Mumbai is unique and should not be used as a sample for the rest of India.
Hope the author does not take offence in my comments and hope it encourages u to look at a wider perspective
This is absolutely true.
I am a malayalee who moved out of kerala for my college education. I have been living in Chennai for the past 6 years. Every time i go home for vacation i can clearly spot the difference in the attitude of people back in Kerala. There is so much of social pressure, people whom you barely know expect you to be something that you are not. Gimme a break!! Am just 23 years old but have had enough experience to take a decision that i will NOT marry a mallu guy who is born n brought up in Kerala. My ex- mallu boyfriend used to throw such tantrums if i told him that i went to a beauty parlour (i was 18 and he was 19) . If a girl wear jeans she is termed as an ahankari!! Men should always have the last word, if the girl is smarter than him or speaks better english then she has ‘jada’. If you talk in english then the only reason for it is b’cos you have ‘jada’ and is considered to be a crime. when a famous anchor of a reality show speaks proper english sans the famous mallu accent then she is talking in ‘ashpush’ language (God knows what the term means!).
When a woman is molested.. eventually she becomes the one who is at fault ,ALWAYS!!
I was a proud malayalee once upon a time.. until i tasted the goodness outside Kerala!
I love Kerala for only 3 good reasons now… Food, the nature and AVIAL (mallu rock band)
I agree with you on these well thought off points. Just to add, you know you are a Mallu:
1. Relatives & family friends visits last many hours, mainly so many people talking at the same time. When the visit is over, they get up and you escort them to the door and then talk for 3 more hours…..right smack at the doorway!!
2. A guy wearing a mundu cannot stop fiddling with it….even if it is not loose and he has to re-tie it.
3. Every other culture is weird, other than their own. I have relatives who term the rock band Kiss in full make ‘mad or ’scary’ – and yet ‘Kathakali’ & Theyyam is just divine (double standards)!
Born in Gujarat, and though a Gujju by thought, I am still a Mallu, Can read, write and speak well for that matter… Every society moulds itself as per the circumstances which existed and keeps changing as per them. Regarding women, I have seen more working Mallu women than any other community, but it is equally true that they do not have any say when it comes to decisions, Mallu men can be truly piss-offs… I have seen lesser Gujju women working, but they have a say in their households… So 100% literacy does not guarantee a good society. I feel that Nature has given Mallus everything in abundance so we are so, the more enterprising communities are whom where nature was not so benevolent. Understanding these differences and getting the best of both the cultures is what I have always tried too and have been happy for the same. A true Blue Mallu and a pakko Gujarati
@liz…asposh…means stylish…taken from br.english word – posh
@ all…a married girl is associated with Goddess Laskmi n light so she wears lots of gold (they wud have d image f d goddess on any 1 f d jewellary pieces) n she enter d house with a lamp….that is d cause of d gold n its also show d families social status…
n vicco turmeric is for men?? Seriously?? My parents told never 2 use it cause turmeric stops facial hair growth so does all parents here…cant belive urs told dat…r dey retarded…
kerala is a highly cultured state with its roots deep in sanskrit d vedas , classical music…much f traditions r from d veda it self …like inter caste marriage..old ppl rejectin hard rock…
@ roshan..try wearin a mundu rather dan preachin on 1
@ rosh…wen do return 2 kerala for vacations…a yr r 2…ur parents n der luvd ones will have lots 2 catch…
@ author…’ not 2 marry girl with short hair’ i dont think der is such a thing…but international MEN LUV LONG HAIR ON A WOMEN ESP. On bed..n do we give ‘beautiful hair’ at beauty contests…its basically a turn on..did u forget dat d man arko comes with his family to see d girl
Every Indian male…how much f an asshole r playboy he is….wants his wife 2b a virgin…wat wrong wen men in kerala ask d same…u say its out dated den u better watch ur words wisely…
mallus think a girl who go out of thE state for higher studies WILL become spoliled(especialy banglore)..such girls can be spolied even if they are living inside kerala…
Is being mallu such a bad thing? I don’t think so….I am a mallu who has stayed for a while in North India.
I quite surprised that you all miss one point: in Kerala, streets look as if there is curfew after 7pm. Kerala doesn’t have many ways to entertain: no big malls (nothing when you compared to Noida/gurgoan etc),almost no night dances, new year parties…so obviously anyone who has stayed in Mumbai or Chennai will feel bored here…
But besides this, there isn’t much ‘kazhambu’ in what you can say. You are trying to compare Kerala with Mumbai or Chennai. Even the state of Maharashtra or TN if taken as a whole won’t stand a chance against Kerala.
Have you ever felt discriminated on the basis of caste/religion in Kerala? I have been to many other states in India and have really faced the ugly side of discrimination.
You are speaking about the discrimination against women: In many of the states of India, you won’t speak against discrimination of women, cause you won’t even be born. You will be killed the moment your parents come to know that you are a girl.
Have you ever seen real poverty in Kerala? The living standard is much higher here. People are aware of their rights. They fight for it.In many villages in TN people still work for 40RS a day, while in Kerala, even an unskilled laborer earns 150Rs minimum. I have just returned from a trip from a village in Maharashtra….. I wonder how people live there. How many houses in Kerala have you seen without a toilet? Have you ever seen people shitting near roadside in Kerala? If you are in a train anywhere else in India, wake up by 6.30 am, get a warm cup of coffee and just watch “the scenery” near railway track.
You Mumbaikars—Nee Dharavi Dharavi-nu kettitundo? Have u seen such a slum in Kerala? You might feel that Kerala is backward when you compare it to other Indian cities. The difference between Kerala and North India is that, while in North India several cities have grown tremendously, Kerala has more or less uniform growth.There isn’t much difference between a village and city in Kerala. Kochi is just an overgrown village.
I can’t say that Kerala is goody good. Kerala is a conservative society, almost repressive in nature. And this is a problem here. Boys resort to eve teasing-cause that is the only thing you can do here. You can’t even hold the hand of your girl friend in public, if ever you have one. But eve teasing is not an acceptable practice here. Haven’t you seen young men thrashed to a pulp for eve teasing in Kerala’s buses.
True–Kerala looks towards Gulf as the promised land. But Mallus have always dared to go beyond their boundaries. There is this famous joke of astronauts seeing a thattukada in the moon. Going outside the state requires a will to change your believes and tradition. WE ARE WILLING TO CHANGE.
Mallu woman, and I 100% agree with this post.
Sorry, I’m bit late in reaching here! But first, congratulations!! You are spot on!! I know your intent is humour!! But, My Comments are inline.
**The only decent career options are to become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, accountant, or teacher. Everything else is trash.
* (Truth) Only Doctor and Engineer are respectable Professions. Rest are the lesser professions, that you can opt, if you didn’t get admissions for Engineering and MBBS
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**Not a fair child? Something is very fishy, even if the parents maybe dark!
** This is an aristocratic belief, not every one share with (Generally Malayalees (I hate the term “Mallu”) are darker people with Dravidian Origin, with some exceptions) . But this apply to whole India (Especially in North) .
**Popular Hindu protagonists in Malayalam cinema are either Varmas or Namboodiris (royal family/Brahmin priest caste) or Menons (feudal family caste that enjoyed proximity to the Varmas and Namboodiris) but they are orphans too!
*** Yaa, there are some “Thampuran” movies. But again, this applies to whole India. In the case of Malayalam movies, at least, there are some notable exceptions. Other industries even don’t have that.
Mimicry and comedy is one and the same thing.
** Unfortunately, in now a days, “YES!!”. But Malayalam Cinema has produced many quality comedy movies, in the past. I think in the case of Comedy, Malayalam Cinema is still better than other industries in India (Especially in Satire, like Sreenivasan Movies) .
**Getting drunk is so macho but it is only for men!
**Very True!!. This has become a big menace here!. It is a social problem bigger than Mullapperiyar. Finally, the woman who drink (even it is a beer), is considered as a Bitch here!!.
***Vicco Turmeric cream is mainly for men than women.
** This is the first time I’m hearing this!!. I don’t know how many in kerala have actually used “Vicco Turmeric”.
**Molesting or misbehaving with women inside a bus is perfectly respectable. Planes and boats are included too.
)!! Definitely, Kerala is a Male Chauvinistic Society. Atrocities against women are increasing in Kerala.
** This is a good one!! I like this (your comment) most (Especially the Plane part
**Men with moustaches are more macho than the rest.
**These are general Dravidian Beliefs.
**Men disapprove of girls who visit beauty parlors and of course, none of those girls include their girl friends, wives or sisters. These guys are lucky to find all the ‘natural’ beauties!
** Yes! But these are changing now.
***Men in the family should be served first, wives and sisters and daughters must wait till it’s time to clear up, as family etiquette depends on this tradition.
** This is really an old Item. I don’t know, now a days any body is following this.
**Malayali girls who wear jeans? No, no, they just want to attract men. My question is, so what about men who wear jeans?
** Now a days, this is changing. Now, it is hard to find a Malayalee Girl who doesn’t have a Jeans in her wardrobe!
**A Mallu girl, who wears a ‘bindi,’ looks down at her feet with humility when men are around, and dresses traditionally is a ‘good’ girl.
**This is a common belief in entire India.
**Malayali actresses should not expose and they should look ‘naadan’.
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** This is partially true. There are actresses who expose for the completeness of a character and still considered as Nadan. Any way, it is true that traditional looking girls always have more market in Malayalam Cinema than modern girls. But this is changing with the advent of NRK girls to the industry. Any way, Beauty lies in the eyes of the behold!!.
**If you are a girl and attending a mallu wedding/ engagement/temple ceremony/prayer/house warming, deck up in all your gold jewelry so that a prospective mother-in-law from a good family can spot the potential.
** Yes!! with a slight difference. I haven’t find that it is mandatory for unmarried girls in Kerala, though there are some exceptions!. But it is true that Married girls in Kerala must have to display their ornaments, to take pride of their family. Unfortunately Malayalees give too much importance to the Gold and Only thriving business in Kerala is Jewellery. Only positive side, I can see in this, is that gold is a good investment in these recession times.
**Don’t marry a girl who sings before the public, something is fishy about her character.
** Well, this should have been included in Men’s Section.
**Don’t marry into a family that has inter-caste marriage because your children or grandchildren may be motivated to do the same.
** Sadly, this is true in a Society, where Cast System was abolished. Kerala is becoming more and more Conservative in recent years. The progressive movements have lost its charm. Earlier people have shed their caste names attached with their name, and now the trend is reversing. More and more people taking pride of their Caste. I must say, we need a second wave of progressive movements, like those happened in pre-independence period, now, to clear this out.
**Marrying a guy from the Gulf is like winning a lottery ticket.
** Now a days this is changing!. Now a software engineer from USA (Even if he lived there only for 1 month) holds this position.
**Don’t marry talkative girls because they are sure to talk back to the in-laws.
** True!! But this belief is prevalent in every where in the Country.
Don’t marry girls who are nurses, lawyers, air hostesses, or models because they are too much in contact with men who are not related to them.
. I have a friend who is working in US as a software engineer, having difficulty in getting married, just because she is working outside the country!. Guys think that she is smarter than them, so it is not easy to control her. 
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** Well, this should have been included in Men’s believes section
**Don’t marry without checking the ancestry and lineage of both families because a black sheep in the family (like me, for example!) could pollute the genes of several generations.
Don’t marry girls who are motherless because who will look after them when they are in the family way?
** True!!. Anyway, arranged marriages in India, generally follow this pattern.
**Girls who wear make-up, sleeveless clothes and short skirts are not ok to marry though you should go ahead and date them to ‘check’ it out.
. You can relate recent “Ranjini Haridas Controversy” with this!. Unfortunately, Kerala has become a bastion of “Moral Police”.
** Very true!! For marriage, Kerala men always prefers a “Nadan girl” , but they often fantasize about dating a ‘modern girl’
**Girls with short hair are not girls, so don’t marry them!
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Hey friends HI to you all….
I’m Spandana here, read the post and all your comments. actually am in lve wit a mallu guy since 5years but haven’t seen him yet directly. Am a tamilian living in bangalore .
am really sory if wrong anywhr coz m new to this site, i was literally unaware of these mallu and their stuffs,