My daughter was so very tiny when she took her first step. I was thrilled. 
But more than thrilled, I was scared. It was my responsibility to protect her, wasn’t it? She was only eight months old… how could I let her fall on the hard floor? My protective instinct told me to always keep her in my lap and never let her get hurt. But, was that the best thing for her? Sometimes we have to let go and watch our children fall. Of course, we’d be there to dry their tears if they are hurt. And while drying those tears, we need to prepare ourselves to watch them fall again. That’s the only way our children will learn to walk. That’s the law of nature.
What We Forget As A Parent .Net
So often we forget these basics as our kids grow up. Our fear of seeing them hurt takes over our rationality. We forget that they too have a journey. We forget that they will learn from every fall. We forget that protecting them hampers their growth. We forget that their experiences will make them wiser and stronger.
Parent .Net Basics
I believe that there are only two things we should teach our children.
- How to make choices
- To take responsibility for their choices
And of course they should know that we will always be there to dry their tears… and to encourage them to try harder… even if the path they have chosen is not what we had dreamed for them.
Parent .Net Fundamentals By Kahlil Gibran
The following verse by Kahlil Gibran is something we, as parents, need to remember:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”
Useful advice. It has always been my firm belief that a child grows up more on experiences than on food. Parents can help kids live their life by giving them the opportunity to.
Thanks, ankit. Needless to mention that the post was inspired by one of yours http://www.homeofbeliefs.com/make-mistakes-parenting/
I guess parents tend to hold themselves responsible for what happens to their children. We forget that what our children need is our faith in them and by crushing their dreams we challenge their basic intelligence and can damage their confidence in themselves.
Excellent Post Priya. I totally agree with you but still its a big struggle.. I face this situation everyday when i interact with my elder daughter. The growing awareness and the independent streak in this generation really worries me sometimes. Where to draw the line and when to let them go and be independent? It’s a big question. It’s really hard to let go of the feeling of responsbility. Still i keep on trying and hope i succeed in it.
Thanks, Neena
I know exactly what you mean. It is tricky and very scary. There is no easy answer for where to draw the line… Is it okay to let them make the decisions even if we believe they are making the wrong ones? What if they turn around and ask us, “Why didn’t you stop me from doing that”?
I guess communication is the key.
very nice article..It is making me think twice to tell my daughter.even though she is 4 yr old.
Everyone should read.
Thanks for sharing