I believe that those who know the importance of talking are among the luckiest people. I have seen how some people prefer to keep their mouth shut when it is most important to use it. Hey there! If you are listening to me, I appeal to you, please talk. It works. Why do you not want to talk? Are you asking any of the following questions?
• Will I sound foolish if I try to talk?
• Will he not understand me?
• Isn’t it better to not talk if it maintains peace?
• Will I be able to talk?
The Difference between Peace and Cold War
Understand it – silence and peace are not synonyms. Silence indicates that there is a certain kind of discomfort which is curtailing you from speaking out. Either you can live with it or take the initiative to communicate. Often, people commit the mistake of accepting the false picture of equilibrium. They feel that not talking will maintain the status quo. It does. However, that condition is stagnation. As neither of the parties are in favour of interaction, they are unknowingly curbing growth.
Recognize the fact that a proactive approach towards searching for the reason for that uneasiness is the first step towards finding a solution to every problem. Start with openness to dialogue. Free yourself of prejudices and be ready to look at situations from various perspectives.
It’s Good to Talk: Talking Works
Talking is a natural human instinct. All of us are eager to share our feelings and it feels nice talking to each other. It is not the expensive birthday present that I remember as my fondest memory. Nor the moments of achievement gave me that joy. The time that I spent talking to those dear to me is something that will always remain with me – something that I will not only cherish and relive for the rest of my life, but also use what I learned from it. Let’s talk.
A really nice post. I have seen a lot of people who choose not to talk to “maintain the peace.” This philosophy is still okay if you follow it with acquaintances. However, when it comes to a long term relationship, this philosophy actually spoils a lot of things. It may buy short term peace, but it will never nurture a healthy relationship. People tend to bottle up small grievances with the excuse of “maintaining the peace”… but it has a volcano effect a few years down the line and suddenly the person erupts. Or worse… sometimes the volcano doesnt erupt, just eats away at the person.
You write that not talking gives people the impression that the status quo is maintained Ironical not talking does not actually maintain the status quo… because people change.
I was so happy to see this post. This is something that I have learnt to believe in, but couldn’t put it down so well
Thanks for the appreciation. Though I know we often choose the other way, but I beleive talking is necessary even with acquaintances.
Change is the only truth. Avoiding communication keeps us inactive not only in our verbal initiatives. It also reduces our activity in terms of staying in touch with the change people are going through, in relaton with us.
@ Ankit: I was happy to read the well written post on the importance of talking . It made me ask a lot of questions because it was so thought provoking. So many thoughts arose from this single post and I thought it will be great to write another post to take the discussion forward.
I have this problem of not talking out things at times because like u sed .. ” to maintain the status quo” I have seen that its okay to discuss or talk with people who really are ready to understand what u say, or try to feel it and then give their opinion. There is another set of people who think there judgement is the best one there can be no two way about it. They are not ready to think otherwise and always misinterpret things. Isn’t it better to ignore getting too much into conversation with them. I feel that will only aggrevate things and leave you more annoyed… what do u all say?
There are 2 things around which you would have to make a choice…
1. how important is the relationship – If the relationship is not very important to you, then you can let matters be. We needn’t be on the same page with everyone we meet. However, there are some relationships that bring a great deal of happiness and pain into our lives… those are our more significant relationships. If there is a lack of understanding in these relationships, I believe talking is a good idea.
2. would you like to trade short term pleasure for long term pleasure – misunderstandings only grow and if 2 people do not understand each other, their distance will only keep increasing with time. So, if you want to share a fruitful relationship with someone, talking is a must.
While talking is necessary, we should never forget why we are talking. We are talking to have a better relationship, right? So, try and replace accusations like “you do not understand me” with words like “i really want you to understand me because you are very important to me.” Dont forget to emphasize to the person how important he/she is to you.
Thanx Priya, thats so sweet of you. Often we do not voice our thoughts just imagining that it might not turn out positive but its very important. I will surely keep this in mind. People change with time.. they grow.. they mature.. whatever age it is we learn new things till the last day of our life. So we must always keep aside the EGO and accept each day as a new day and give chance to ppl. Its very important. Relationships does matter a lot in life.
very well said, Piyali. Although people should change and grow, sometimes they are closed to new learnings. That’s why there is resistance to new ideas.
By the way, I love your name. It has a musical ring to it