Are you successful? How often do you ponder about what you really want? Who decides your success? Who determines when you have failed? Have you discovered the thin line between normalcy and extraordinary?
“My life is so hectic.” We say this so often… to friends, to colleagues and to ourselves. Hectic is a good sign, really. It means you are productive. But is your life so hectic that you don’t have time to think? I can tell you that mine is. Between trying to have a successful career and managing a house, there isn’t much time for anything else. Sounds familiar?
It is vital to punctuate our hectic lives to judge the gap between what we thought we wished to do and reality. Today, it is easier to do what one wants. There are endless career opportunities and countless means to help us achieve them. Yet, there is more stress and more career anxiety. Why is that?
Maybe it’s because our definitions of success and failure need to change. According to Wikipedia, “success” may mean:
- a level of social status
- achievement of an objective/goal
- the opposite of failure
Most of us blindly follow what society defines as “success.” This imposed definition of success may include:
- Marriage
- Procreation
- Bank balance
- House
- Designation
- Car
- Lifestyle
- Holiday destination
While there is nothing wrong with these parameters, they may not fit all of us alike. What do we do then? Should we all set our own objectives and goals? Can all of us ignore what society thinks of us? Do I feel “successful” if my spouse, friends and neighbors think I am a loser? Absolutely not!
On the other hand, does it matter if my spouse, friends and neighbors tell me I’ve done well, when I feel like a total loser? Certainly not!
Aha… which is what got me thinking… success is defined by society, while failure is defined by ourselves. This is aggravated by the fact that often success is attributed to a plethora of things (including talent, timing, luck and inheritance). On the other hand, we take too much responsibility for failure. We inherently believe that success is not always earned by us, but failure definitely is our “fault.”
So, we strive from one definition of success to another. Success is to have a car. And when we do, the definition of success necessitates having a Ferrari. The race goes on. And in the pursuit of success, we forget to pursue happiness. But when our friend “failure” comes knocking on the door, it gives us the time to stop and think about what went wrong and what can be improved.
If you have defined failure for yourself then why do you need to go to society to define success?
“In the pursuit of success we forget to pursue happiness” – do you not see a contradiction there that should not exist? Success is probably the purest pursuit of happiness. A pursuit of happiness without compromises, a pursuit with clarity of what is desired, a vision which is complete and balanced and does not drop some of the dreams while pursuing the others…Tricky game – but doable!