The Three Ugliest Things People Say about Love

Let me begin by classifying love. I’m not talking about the kind of love your dog feels for you. That’s probably instinctive loyalty. I’m not even talking about what a baby may feel for its mother. I am talking about the kind of love two mature adults feel for each other.

Your love for me should be unconditional - OMG! That sounds like saying, “You should not have any reasons to love me.” I believe love should be VERY conditional. If you love me, you should have thought about the zillion reasons for which you do. You should have also thought about the things you don’t like about me. Love being unconditional seems too much like people getting into a relationship without thinking. Unconditional love sounds like you could have loved anyone else… I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Of course, the “conditions” for love have to be well thought out (rather that “I love the way she looks at me”).

If you love me, you will not try to change me – That’s crap! We all work towards becoming better… improving our thoughts, our skills and our bodies. Then why do we feel offended getting feedback from people who love us? If someone tells us what they believe we could improve on, we should appreciate it. It takes a lot to think about another person’s areas of improvement and give caring feedback. We can work on the feedback or throw it out of the window after evaluating whether it makes sense for us.

If you love me, you will understand me without the need for words - Give me a break! What is it with people? Social networking is a roaring hit… people spend hours exchanging information and pics with casual friends and strangers. But the moment it comes to communicating with the person you love… suddenly you expect him to just understand you. It isn’t easy communicating even when you use words (because essentially people speak different languages – we may both be talking in English, but the underlying connotations and preconceived tones are often radically different – Will elaborate on this one in another post). Making the situation worse is the thought that someone will understand me without me needing to utter a word. Even if that is the case, don’t rely on it… TALK… even if it is just to confirm that the two of you are on the same page.

But the most important thing about love is to always remember to thoroughly enjoy it…