Touching the feet of elders is one of the most respected traditions among Hindus, probably because the tradition is associated with respect. Most of my relatives are very particular about teaching their kids to touch feet when they are still very small to understand the concept of the tradition.
To Touch Feet or Not?
While I had personally been following this tradition in a quite unquestionable fashion, I recently realised how often I did not feel like touching feet. It was then that I thought from a kid’s perspective. Whose feet do I have to touch? Is everybody larger in size (a toddler’s definition of an elder) supposed to be respected? Do I have to touch the feet of all my relatives i.e. do they inherit respect? Why don’t people touch my feet?
Teaching Respect and Touching Feet
Have we ever wondered how important it is to teach the meaning of respect to the child before teaching him to touch 
my feet? How can one follow such a tradition without understanding an emotion that is closest to the most intense feeling of love?
You must have seen parents asking their child to recite a poem in front of a stranger. The child would, in most cases, be shy. While reciting that poem can be the child’s way of having fun with his or her mother, he may not associate the same feeling of happiness with the activity in relation to a stranger’s presence. Then, imagine teaching children to touch the feet of relatives they have never met before. For them, they are strangers. How will they respect them?
Touch the Heart, Don’t Touch Feet
The relatives I respect are not those who have the “touch my feet” expression on their faces. They are the people who touch the heart. It is that love which connects the souls. It does not require any physical connection to express the false respect, but can surely result into affectionate physical expressions.
Anyway, what is an action that is no guided by feelings? Does that define how hollow our traditions are? Is the tradition of touching feet standing up to the values it represents? When we are asking our child to touch a person’s feet just because s/he is older, it ceases to be an action that can come from the feeling of respect. It is pure submission that we demand from our child. Do you still want to teach your child to touch your feet?
Ankit, I disagree with ur idea of equating a tradition with love. It is not at all necessary to find love in everything. Best of the learning come from the most bitter experiences.
Well, in relation to the practice of touching feet, it is not about just doin it for d sake of keeping ur parents happy. In my opinion it is all about accepting supremacy of the other person. Now u can say dat how to adjudge that supremacy level and why should one subordinate to someone’s supremacy. I think supremacy comes from learning. An elder person has greater experience and he has seen life more than you, even if few minutes. There is nothing that can equate to experience. Thus, by touching their feet, you actually ask them to share their experience and learning with you. Here, I can give reference to an incident from Ramayana. Ravana was defeated and was on the verge of death. Rama knew that Ravana is a learned soul. So, he asks Laxmana to seek lessons from Ravana. Laxman pleaded Ravana several times for offering lessons, but Ravana did not utter a single word. Actually, Ravana was lying on the ground and Laxman was standing in a firm position just near to his head. Understanding the situation, Rama asked Laxmana to sit down in a receptive position near the foot of Ravana. When Laxmana did this, Ravana began to teach him the best of his learnings.
I personally believe that bowing down my head in front of an elder is a nice feeling. It is like I hav to honor to share some thoughts wid a person who has more experience than me.
I hav also heard that there is some scientific explanation regarding the benefits of touching feet. It was like you accept energy rays from the other person. However, I dont know whether its true or not……..
go take a break Mayank…this planet don’t need ur sick explanations and illustrations….i think u need a nice donut….
I believe u r not a Hindu, dats y u cant understand feelings and thoughts which are specific to a group of people. Its like people living in city apartments don’t believe that there are people who live under the tree shades.
Mayank, it was great to see how much you thought about the post.. Here are my replies:
Firstly, I did not equate the tradition with love. However, when you say that it is not necessary to find love in everything, I differ. Love is already there in everything. In fact, during the most bitter experiences, love becomes stronger and more visible.
Secondly, I believe no relationship can grow as it should if one party accepts the supremacy of the other.
To reply on the need to touch feet to make elders share their learning, I will write another post and will keep you posted.
I believe touching the feet was a form of greeting – the younger person touches the feet and the elder person puts a hand on the former’s head. Some people shake hands, some fold their hands and some hug – these are all forms of greet… just like feet touching.
Of course, any action becomes a burden when forced onto someone. Just because we have corrupted the action by making it compulsory does not make the action loathsome.
When you see touching feet as a greeting, it reminds me of how when 2 Nirankaris meet, they touch each other’s feet. That takes away the concept of one party commanding superiority to the other.
I have been looking for the origins of the tradition, but haven’t been able to find anything. Of what a friend (Hammad) told me, Islam says that a man must bow only in front of allah. They hug, which is scientifically a beneficial action.
Still, I would agree with Ankit completely. I had a relative who was of my grandfather’s age. Naturally it was Compulsory for us to touch his feet and bear his words. And what he did was to taunt and sarcastically comment ,how fatty we are growing or how tall we looked as if beyond our age. It was not at all put up in good humour because he did the same with everyone, still in the name of tradition we had to stand there. And the best part was that my parents knew this fact very well that how irritating this was, but to pacify us and teach us to not to react agressively was what they did. But the question is if we keep on running this dumb race who would think of breaking the ice and bring about change for good?
I know what you mean Shivangi. On Orkut, I have received similar comments from many bahus telling me how their in-laws expect them to touch the feet of every relative. It is sad that people from the older generation, recognizing the hollowness of a tradition, pass it on to their young ones. I believe such traditions usually fade away.
What makes me ponder is when you say how it was “compulsory” to touch feet and bear words of somebody who was of your grandpa’s age. Moreover, you add “Naturally” before that compulsion.
Think
I wonder how we question everything.. just everything. Sometimes due to our inquisitive behavior, sometimes for learning, sometimes just for the sake of questioning and sometimes out of the frustration of our blocked thinking. BUT????
Do we ever question the most imp question – Why we are here???????
Dear Mayank,
I am imressed by your question ” WHY WE ARE HERE “. To help you to find an answer for this question i would suggest you to have a comparative religion study . Try to find out what is the message conveyed by Hinduism, Christianity , Islam once you get the full information i hope you will find the answer. I am not saying you my religion since it will obviously point out that am favouring my religion. Hence i would leave it upto you to decide .
Wellwisher,
Take care.
The only way to make your faith stronger is by questioning it. That’s why we are here at the Home of Beliefs.
Touching feet is our tradition just like shaking hands in the west, bowing in front in some parts of the world etc. We have started questioning everything under the sun as Mayank rightly said due to our inquisitive nature or for the sake of questioning. Dear Ankit there are loads of topics which need more attention from a child’s perspective like health, education, etc. so why not look into meaningful aspects than wasting the energies by questioning about something with which no child has an issue. How do you understand a small kid what respect is….no amount of words can do what a simple gesture can.
Alternatively, the child also seeks blessings from elders in this way and that’s certainly is very essential in our culture. And the science behind it is that we positive energy passes from a higher level to a lower level through the feet and so even if we follow it just for the sake of tradition there is no harm.
Dear Ashish,
I have nothing against following a tradition in our culture. However, I would want all of us to understand the meaning of a tradition before following it.
We should do what we believe in. You choose to follow developments in technology because you understand the meaning they add to your life.
Really true…
heyii everyone…….dere’s scientific reason behind each n everythin dat we indians follow in our society…..we touch d feets…….and the othr prson says ashirwaad or somethin else…by doin dis dere’s actually the transfer of positive energy from one person to another….as per the law of conservation of energy………
When I was newly married my mother-in-law made me touch the feet of practically every relative and acquaintance who came to our house, whether younger or older than me. Once I was made to touch the feet of a ten-year-old boy who was supposed to be my uncle. I hated it. But surprisingly she did not insist that every younger relative touch my feet. I saw a conspiracy in that. Maybe she was trying to show me that I was inferior, being the new bahu and all. I used to find it very odd, people waiting for their feet to be touched as though they were God Incarnate, when in real life they might be rapists, lechers and cheats.
If it is conspiracy it can make you sick but otherwise touching feet is paying respect to another person. if my elders like this sign of respect i love to do it. i do not do it to who do not like it or who do not understand it. if you think why should i bow down to someone, then you can also think why should i wish someone first? our ego makes things difficult, not the signs of greetings or respect.
dear Ankit, the tradition of almost all religions have logics like the feet touching .A child gets instructions from his parents to touch the feet is the same as a child of pre nursury gets instructions of learning alphabets, varnamala and numbers from his teacher inspite of the fact he does not know the meaning and significance . Any tradition is almost always right but due to lack of knowledge and communiation it is reformed to the burden on to the society .The concept of islam of not bending aganist anyone except allah may have different logics but in SANATAN dharm there are much more people which are considered greater than eeshwar like parents, guru , vipra etc .
dear kiran , in your case your mother in law and your relatives are faulty not the tradition.